Hello. We are a family of five living in a medium sized Midwestern city. We are two busy professionals with three small (growing) children. My first child was born shortly two months after I finished a sub specialty surgical fellowship. My first year as an attending was in a word…a disaster. Building a career while navigating the ins and outs of motherhood was a struggle that I could never have prepared for and I frankly was not good at it. I resigned a year after I started.

My baby and I cried every day when I left in the morning. I couldn’t pump effectively  at work for fear the pager would go off.  I begrudgingly would stay in the hospital until after my partners were done to demonstrate my dedication to the job but secretly resented the time it took away from my family. My son and I were both sleep deprived because I would wake him up when I got home to play with him. I couldn’t stand a day to pass without some interaction with him. Not surprisingly he didn’t sleep well during the night and neither did I.

When I was working I was miserable but as a stay-at-home mom I was shockingly more miserable. I knew no-one in my new city and felt isolated. Reading Brown Bear repeatedly and following a toddler around was mind-numbing. An hour or two a day was too little and 24 hours was way too much. I also had a nagging feeling that I still had so much to accomplish in medicine. Yet when I thought about going back to work, this sinking feeling would overwhelm me. How many milestones would I miss, who would kiss the boo-boos and catch my son when he went down the slide.

But time waits for no one and I knew that the longer I stayed away from medicine, the harder it would be to get back in. My job search however was going nowhere. I wanted to work but not full-time and I fully believe that my conflicted state was manifesting itself in my interviews. On paper I sounded great, but in real life my lack of enthusiasm was palpable.

After much soul-searching, I decided to just be brutally honest. I basically cold-called the head of my specialty at a nearby hospital and spilled my guts out. I wanted to work but had a small child and I wondered if they had any use for a part-time surgeon. My husband thought I was delusional to even send out such an email. But really, I had nothing to lose. I was unemployed with no prospects. And if a full-time job came my way, I wasn’t even so sure I would take it. Imagine my surprise when I got a return email. A few months later I was joining the staff of a surgical department as a 0.6 FTE. This was back in 2011.

I decided to share my story with other physicians that may be early career physicians that happened to be parents to small children, burned out mid career physicians, or  near retirees. Whatever your reasons for wanting to work part-time and more importantly whatever your specialty, you can make it happen and you are not alone. This blog will discuss the ins and outs of creating such an arrangement as well as discuss general work-life balance issues unique to physicians. The day I decided to fully acknowledge what would make me happy and go for it was the best career and family decision I could make. Come along and join the ride!